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Two places to numb, two holes to cut, two tubes to snip and remove (which look like two small sections of spaghetti noodles -- which my doctor pointed out when he showed me commenting, "hope you weren't planning on pasta for dinner tonight" -- worth the co-pay alone) because most men have. . .everybody now. . .two balls. Duh. This was both surprising and disappointing to me as the first one is no picnic and after the full frontal sense assault I was in no mood to go through it again, but it was actually a lot easier. This time I was already entirely numb and I could identify each tug and snip as landmarks along the shameful journey and I knew exactly how many more pokes and puffs of flesh smoke were left until I could get out of there and get a burrito.. . .AND THEN I PASSED OUT- Okay, procedure's over -- doc is gone -- nurse is gone -- and it quickly becomes (painfully) obvious that I did not shave above my penis as I rip the tape -- and my pubes -- off of my abdomen. That hurt, but. But I didn’t. “Baby, I’m gonna be honest with you,” he said as one of his fingers brushed against my nipple. The electricity of the situation meant it was already perked up for him. “I haven’t been with a woman in a long ass time, and I would really, really appreciate if you did me a solid tonight.” I should have been offended, should have pushed him off me and told him I was taken. For some reason I didn’t. For some reason I just watched as he pulled the cups of my bra down and lifted my heavy breasts over the fabric, exposing them.“I don’t know if Mr. Chapman would like that,” I said, my face hot and my voice dry.“Like what?” a voice behind me asked. I whirled around, breasts out, and looked up at my boyfriend like a deer in the headlights.“I, uh, I was just…” I stammered, but Dion jumped in.“She was helping me get over my wife. You know how it is.”“I see,” Mr. Chapman said, looking back and forth between us before glancing down at my exposed chest. We stewed in silence for a.
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